I’m still not even sure how I feel about this whole idea to be perfectly honest with you. I’m almost 36 years old and have never really been on a diet in my entire life. Never needed to lose weight. Never felt the need to work on any specific part of my body. Never wanted to be “better” or feel better. I suppose I have watched what I ate over the years, popped in and out of gyms from the age of 18, and as I have gotten older I did begin to make better choices when it comes to food. However, the end result has always remained the same for me… mastering the “skinny fat” look. I’ve never been truly happy or comfortable with my body and I definitely haven’t been completely proud of how I looked.
Last year I felt different though. I knew I was ready to commit to being, feeling and living healthier. I discovered a new found love of weight lifting and have continued to push myself with my training. Also, I could have immediately began to diet, track my calories, go into a daily deficit, but I chose to do things a bit different. Most women wouldn’t attempt to eat MORE to start with, but I knew it would be healthier and easier on my body than crash dieting. I had some forks and U-turns in the road over the past 10 months, but finally found a path that I was comfortable with. Flexible eating and reverse dieting have been the BEST decisions I could have made for myself. I had to research quite a bit and get some help along the way but in that process I have not only gained a wealth of knowledge that will last me a lifetime. More importantly though, in the midst of my reverse diet, I have gotten to a place where I am really comfortable in my own skin and even proud of where my body was at, regardless of what the numbers on the scale say. I am finally in a place where I am happy and I feel strong.
This is where my dilemma was last week… I have felt SO good about myself, my body, my training, how much and what I am eating, etc. that I considered continuing with my reverse diet or even just maintaining where I’m at indefinitely. As of a few weeks ago, I no longer felt the need to get shredded, see a six pack, and didn’t aspire to look like the fitness models and competitors I was inspired by. I’m really just happy where I am at. It’s a liberating feeling being able to jump on the scale, be 5-7 pounds heavier, not able to fit into clothes you did 3 months ago, and/or look in the mirror and think to yourself “Hey, I am alright and I feel great!”
In the end though, I have decided to finish what I started. I 100% know that I have not reached all of my goals. It’s time to buckle down and push my body to see what it can really do and transform to be. I may no longer feel entirely skinny fat, but I know my body is capable of more. The plan is to go on an 8 weeks diet, continuing to track my macros and reducing my daily calories SLOWLY. No crash dieting. No crazy supplements. No cutting out any foods or food groups. No cutting out my carbs completely. No 2 hour daily cardio. Just continuing training hard at the gym with my power and hypertrophy split, incorporating the 2 cardio sessions per week that I stopped doing the past month and a half, and properly eating for my goals. The last thing I want to do is diet down and leave my body in worse condition when I first started. At ANY point during this cut that I look and feel like it’s “enough”, I will totally 100% STOP the diet. Again, I’m not working towards a very specific goal or aesthetic anymore. I could care less if I get down to 15% body. I want to push my body physically and mentally BUT
I also need to be happy and comfortable with what I am doing and how I am doing it!
That being said…. here I am after a little over 2 months of reverse dieting. I’ve increased my daily calories to over 2,300, 315 grams carbs, and I have put on roughly 5 pounds. I’m appear fluffier than I was when I first started BUT again, I’m happier now than ever before. I did have a set back in December being sick and not being able to increase my metabolic capacity further, but my body is MUCH more equipped to handle dieting now. Reverse dieting FIRST has put me in a much better position to begin this cut! Excited, scared, and nervous for what the next 8 weeks will be like but I am so up for the challenge and ready to see what me and this little 5′ body are made of!
LET”S ROLL BABY!!!
STATS (all relaxed):
- WEIGHT- 103.2 lbs
- BODY FAT- 19%
- WAIST- 28″
- BICEP- 10.5″
- QUADRICEP- 18.5″
- HIP- 30″
- GLUTE- 33″
- CALVE- 12.5″
- SHOULDER/BACK- 38″